Life wisdom
«Always go to other people's funerals — otherwise they will not come to yours.»
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🫠 Everyday deadpan
8 items · 😅 Everyday
Life wisdom
«Smile at the world and you get a boot in the face. Smile again — there is the pair.»
Answer the phone
«This is your captain speaking.»
An absurd fact about yourself
«I was born very young — could barely walk or talk.»
«Do you not hate people who answer their own questions? I do.»
«Adam and Eve were the first to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.»
Before a completely mundane task
«Cue the music.»
Put the car in reverse
«This takes me back.»