Who's had a bit too much
«Good thing you know your limits!»
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Home › Comebacks › Winding up a mate
😏 Winding up a mate
39 items · 😏 Banter
Complains about literally anything
«Grown man, btw.»
Someone your age or older
«Just start calling them “lil bro”.»
Says something negative about themselves
«I was not going to say anything, but I am glad you did.»
«If you could change one thing about yourself — other than the obvious — what would it be?»
They speak at a normal volume
«There is no need to shout.»
«You are not stupid — you just have bad luck when you think.»
«Anyone can be wrong, but you abuse the privilege.»
Brags or exaggerates
«Do go on — I love fairy tales.»
Yawns
«Do not let me bore you.»
«You should have come with an instruction manual.»
Tells the same story again
«It gets better every time. Almost.»
«I am not angry — just impressed by the audacity.»
«I am not judging you. I am studying you.»
«You have the confidence of someone with no idea what is going on.»
Looking rough
«You alright? You look like the guy in the zombie film who has been bitten but is keeping it quiet.»
«Your dancing should come with a warning label.»
«I was going to roast you — but you did that yourself.»
«You are living proof that evolution can go in reverse.»
«If stupidity could fly, you would own an airline.»
Asks something obvious
«Google does exist, you know.»
Is grumpy
«Who took your sweets?»
«just one more thing»
«Historically, it has never been just one thing.»
«trust me»
«That is exactly how it went wrong last time.»
Sings the wrong lyrics
«Close. Not even remotely — but close.»
Joke that does not land
«Was the circus full, or just not hiring?»
Calls you a name
«That is what my mum calls me too.»
Mediocre attempt at humour
«Okay — just do not quit your day job.»
«You are probably the first person I have met who has actually reached their full potential.»
«Never trust anything that survives bleeding for a week.»
«You talk a lot of rubbish for someone within cumshot distance!»
«Watch it before I two-stroke you!»
Photographs their food
«Are you going to eat it or adopt it?»
Stumbles over their words
«Could not have said it better myself.»
Misbehaves
«You are acting like that when Santa is watching?»
Told you have changed
«Thank you. That was the idea.»
Shown baby photos
«Yep, that looks like a baby.»
Apologises for something trivial
«You should be.»
Sneezes more than once
«Alright, we heard you!»